Why My Husband And I Chose a Small Wedding

On August 30, 2018, Jason and I married each other with a small wedding in the presence of both our parents and his brother in a vintage chapel. During the beginning of our engagement, we (well, more so I) wanted to host a large wedding complete with all the trending design elements of 2017. During most weekends, I pinned industrial yet classic decor, visited venders at bridal expos, dreamt up invitations made of  lucite, and even coincidentally booked a few bridal modeling gigs. However, a year into our engagement, things changed in our lives and our priorities shifted. Meanwhile, we also started watching a show called Travel Man where the clever Richard Ayoade travels to famous cities in Europe and offers up candid opinions of each destination. One night while watching an episode and after a few glasses of wine, I suggested we skip a traditional wedding and spend our budget traveling the world. Instead of planning our big day over the next few months, we organized a two month trip to visit thirteen cities in Europe and one in Africa all on a Trello Board.

After Jason and I returned from our trip, we spent a few evenings throughout August planning a stress-free small wedding to meet our needs. Even though we’ve been together for over eight years, our trip abroad bonded us together in such a away that refocused my attention toward serving each other and away from meeting the expectations of others. While we planned, we stayed clear on exactly what we wanted and how decisions supported our idea of a wedding. Even though our wedding was very small, Jason and I still added intentional design elements to create an ambiance for our own memories. We hired an electric violinist, wedding coordinator, minister, photographer/videographer, florist, and even rented a vintage getaway car. Each person and decor element served a purpose to either minimize potential stress or enhance the experience of that day.  

Minimizing Expectations

Now, after going through a wedding ceremony, I could not be happier with our choice to only invite our families. As someone who is working through letting go of other’s interpretation of myself, I felt relaxed and at ease during our day knowing every element that day served our unique purpose. By planning a small wedding without a large guest list, Jason and I allowed ourselves the opportunity to only meet our expectations. We didn’t have to consider seating arrangements, food choices, hotel accommodations, or any other guest focused decisions. Instead of giving our attention to others, we gave our attention to each other and imagined a day in celebration of us. Most of us give a lot to others in our daily lives, and, for me and Jason, we wanted to give only to each other on our wedding day.

Cherishing The Ceremony Connection

As many married couples know, the energy created during a marriage ceremony not only feels sacred but also transnational. Even after the ceremony, the energy between Jason and I throughout the rest of the evening remained magnetic. During our mini photo shoot session and leading into dinner with our families, we stayed bonded in the closeness formed during the ceremony. Since we didn’t have tons of guests to greet, we were able minimize energy given to others and conserve it for each other. Looking back now, I’m so thankful we coordinated a day that truly honored us and our intentions. Ever since our wedding day, our love has truly grown and we’ve never put so much attention into our relationship. To anyone engaged and not quite identifying with a traditional wedding day, consider letting go of society’s version of a wedding or what your parents want and serve yourself!